My Curmudgeonly Husband is a home inspector. He sallies forth every day to poke his nose into the nooks and crannies (and crawlspaces) of houses for sale, on behalf (usually) of the homebuyer. It’s his job to find any potential flaws or underlying issues that ought to be addressed, and thereby give the homebuyer leverage for negotiation with the seller, as well as an idea of what kinds of maintenance they’ll be looking at when they move in.
He’s very good at his job. He’s extremely thorough, and not in the least speedy—an average inspection takes a minimum of four hours on site, plus the time at home when he writes the report, complete with pictures to illustrate each point. (One of the local real estate agents refers to him as the Angel of Death, and greets him with, “Killed any deals lately?”)
However, if you’re a homebuyer, you definitely want him on your side.
He and I used to share a home office, back in the day when I was still a business intelligence consultant. This did not work out well. If he was on the phone, I had to be quiet. If I was on the phone, I had to be quiet too. Having offices of our own has done wonders for our marriage.
However, there are still times when his work environment bleeds into mine. When he’s uploading the pictures to the report, he listens to Spotify (thanks to a Christmas gift from our Lovely Daughter) and hums along with the music.
And far too often, what he’s humming is “The Girl From Ipanema.” He must have an entire playlist dedicated to just that song. I complained to LD about this once and she had never heard of the song. So CH played it for her.
She was appalled. “That’s a horrible song!”
He, of course, does not agree, and continues to break it out in his humming repertoire on a regular basis.
CH doesn’t only hum along with his report writing. Often, he’ll be puttering around in the kitchen, humming under his breath, prompting some permutation of the following conversation:
Me: What are you humming?
CH: Was I humming?
Me: Yes. What was it?
CH: I don’t know.
Sometimes, CH’s humming will be context driven. We had been on a hike in Forest Park, one of Portland’s first public green spaces, as part of my research for Stumptown Spirits. On the way home, he started humming the theme from Bonanza. Since as far as I knew, neither of us had seen an episode of Bonanza in decades I asked him why.
“Because we just saw some Ponderosa pines.”
(If you’re not up on your Bonanza lore, the Cartwright family’s ranch is called the Ponderosa.)
Of course, sometimes he simply gets a song stuck in his head (without the assistance of Spotify), and I’ll hear reprises of it for months, or in one case, years. When we were first married, he would randomly burst out with “I was standing…on the corner…when I heard…my bulldog bark,” the opening lines to “Stagger Lee.”
Now I feel about “Stagger Lee” the way LD feels about “The Girl From Ipanema.” So every time this happened, I would protest and beg him to find some other song.
And here comes the tie-in to Vampire With Benefits:
So when Rusty and Casimir are driving back from Portland, and Rusty is feeling unreasonably smug, he starts humming a tune until Cas orders him irritably to stop.
The tune? “Stagger Lee.” I took pity on LD and avoided “The Girl From Ipanema.”
Besides, Rusty doesn’t strike me as a bossa nova fan! 😉
In case you’re not familiar with the songs, here’s “The Girl From Ipanema.”
And here’s “Stagger Lee.”
And here’s the theme from Bonanza.
Title: Vampire with Benefits by E.J. Russell
Supernatural Selection Series Book Two
Publisher: Riptide Publishing
Genre: Contemporary, Gay, Romance,Comedy, Urban Fantasy/Paranormal
Length: 300 pages/Word Count: 80,000
A match between a vampire and shifter could be deadly—but this broken beaver doesn’t give a dam.
Silent film actor Casimir Moreau had imagined that life as a vampire would be freewheeling and glamorous. Instead, he’s plunged into a restrictive society whose rules he runs afoul of at every turn. To “rehabilitate” him, the vampire council orders him mated to an incubus with impeccable breeding who’ll mold Cas into the upstanding vampire he ought to be. Or else.
As an inactive beaver shifter, construction engineer Rusty Johnson has fought—and overcome—bias and disrespect his entire life. But when his longtime boyfriend leaves him for political reasons, Rusty is ready to call it a day. Next stop? Supernatural Selection and his guaranteed perfect mate, a bear shifter living far away from Rusty’s disapproving clan.
But then a spell snafu at Supernatural Selection robs both men of their intended husbands. Rusty can’t face returning to his clan, and Cas needs somebody on his arm to keep the council happy, so they agree to pretend to be married. Nobody needs to know their relationship is fake—especially since it’s starting to feel suspiciously like the real thing.
Purchase Link: Riptide Publishing
About Supernatural Selection
Are you a shifter who’s lost faith in fated mates? A vampire seeking a Second Life companion? Or perhaps you’re a demon yearning to claim a soul (mate)?
Congratulations! Your search is over!
Welcome to Supernatural Selection, where our foolproof spells guarantee your perfect match.
Until they don’t.
E.J. Russell—certified geek, mother of three, recovering actor—holds a BA and an MFA in theater, so naturally she’s spent the last three decades as a financial manager, database designer, and business intelligence consultant (as one does). She’s recently abandoned data wrangling, however, and spends her days wrestling words.
E.J. is married to Curmudgeonly Husband, a man who cares even less about sports than she does. Luckily, C.H. loves to cook, or all three of their children (Lovely Daughter and Darling Sons A and B) would have survived on nothing but Cheerios, beef jerky, and satsuma mandarins (the extent of E.J.’s culinary skill set).
E.J. lives in rural Oregon, enjoys visits from her wonderful adult children, and indulges in good books, red wine, and the occasional hyperbole.
To celebrate the release of Vampire With Benefits one lucky person will win a $25 Riptide Publishing gift card and an ecopy of The Druid Next Door, the second title in the Fae Out of Water series, also from the Mythmatched universe! Leave a comment with your contact info to enter the contest. Entries close at midnight, Eastern time, on October 27, 2018. Contest is NOT restricted to U.S. entries. Thanks for following the tour, and don’t forget to leave your contact info!